I'm all by myself again.  It's funny. Being by myself used to be something I longed for.  Now I'm trying to enjoy myself as best I can.  For sure, it does give me some time to grieve and be sad freely without having to hide it from Rene, who is naturally happy -- except when he's mad, of course.

Thanks to my coworkers, who basically kicked me out of work, I got to spend 2 nights with Luis and Rene in Vancouver at the Ronald McDonald House. Rene made me feel very welcome, proudly introducing me to the team of people at the BC Cancer Agency who are lovingly giving him his radiation every morning at 8 a.m.  The three of us came back to Victoria for the weekend and it was so good to have the four days in a row. There was less hustle and bustle than usual and we were able to play together.  Luis is not a complainer, so it was interesting to hear little comments from him that let me know it is hard for him to be the only parent over there.  I'm very glad we were all able to be together for Rene's first treatment.  Rene and Luis are doing quite well together.  I'm proud of them.

I said goodbye to Luis and Rene at 1:50 (Thank God for BC Ferry's and their priority boarding letter, we only have to get there 30 minutes before the sailing) as they drove off to the ferry again for another week of radiation.  First, I sat in the sun to make some vitamin D, then I came in to catch up on emails.  I intended to put a nice thank you up to the parents and children at Oaklands Elementary for the lovely package they gave to us this weekend.  We parents appreciate the "big gift" which will help us while Luis can't work.  Rene really enjoyed the cards, drawings, and toys that people sent.  My favourite moment all weekend was when, responding to a card that read "Get well soon," Rene declared, "They don't know that I'm already better. I feel fine."  Luis and I beamed.  My heart was so glad to hear those words. As a parent, I always try to believe in my little son and that's the message I most long to believe in. 

The thank you is here, but meanwhile on Facebook I saw that a dear fellow "cancer mom" shared a beautiful video and song written and sung my Megan McNeil.  So here I am, having a sob-fest and decided to pass it on. 

The song and video say it all.  We've had the privilege of being at Camp Goodtimes (Canadian Cancer Society) with one of the singers and her father, who appear in Megan's video.  You just can't meet better people. 

Hugs to the parents of Megan, who passed on early this year. I hope I don't have to stand in similar shoes, but I might.  No matter what, I'm grateful to Megan for her exquisite singing ability and selfless professionalism that give us something to share with everyone.  Here's the official You Tube video:

Note: The James Fund, chosen by Megan, is a fund that is named for a child who died of Neuroblastoma in 2001. Naturally, it is a fund that is close to my heart as well.