Rene was quite wound up this morning before heading off to chemotherapy at Victoria General.  He started out fighting to turn on the TV before getting dressed and eating breakfast (He wanted that mental numbing effect).  When hitting me and calling me stupid and stomping off to his father didn't result in the desired effect, he banged around in his room and when THAT didn't result in anything but a repeated request by his father to settle down and get dressed he finally got to the point.

He delivered a tirade on hating doctors. Targeting doctors is a new tactic on his part. Before he would just be generally angry, but not know to where to direct the anger.  Anyways, the tirade went something like this: "I hate doctors. They don't know anything. They never give me a break.  They're stupid. They don't know anything about kids.  They never give me a break."

I was in the kitchen making breakfast and as Rene went on, I remembered my own burst of tears the night before.  I wanted to be able to go with them, not to work.  Rene has told me matter-of-factly that it hurts when he gets the poke into his new port, which is under his skin on his chest.  (The old one hung out of his chest and was an infection prevention nightmare, but never hurt him.)  Really, I just wanted all of us to be able to step out of the cancer experience forever.  'Stop the bus! We want off!'

Once Rene got himself on the topic and his father listened to him, he was feeling a bit better and sat pouting at the table. Rene never pouts, but there he was, shoulders hunched, head at half mast, lip cooling in the air. 

Luis gave him his anti-nausea medicine which Rene vented about by asking questions as if he'd never take that before. "Why? Why? Why?"  Luis just answered him. 

Rene kept up his surly attitude until Luis said, "What are you, a teenager?" Rene giggled and managed to put some scrambled eggs into his mouth. 

Once he was feeling better, he got practical: "I want to take my DS so that when they give me the poke, I'll just be playing."



PS. Don't miss the thank you entry that follows this one. (I'm posting two things today.)